dex alexander

When It All Falls Apart

So, I lead an army of creative people at Sandals Church in Southern California. We try our best to communicate through art, music and other forms of media. 

This morning, we had a video/lights/audio/other awesome stuff presentation to help communicate the awesomeness of God in creation. We had numerous artists, musicians, lighting and audio techs who created an intense art moment that called upon many separate pieces of machinery to work in concert with a live narrator and the band.

As the time came to make it happen, our anxiety and excitement grew. Our director gave the call to go live…

“3..2..1.. GO”

Our production manager initiated the start sequence with the push of a button…

nothing.

button again.

nothing.

button. button. button. button.

nuttin.

I’m one of those ‘every problem presents an opportunity’ types. So much so, that I’m writing this in faith before we’ve had the second chance to execute this awesome experience. But I’ll let you know what’s buzzin my head now…

It’s nothing personal.

I immediately grabbed the two people that I trust these moments with. While I was clearly agitated and while I expressed my concern over our tech failure, I made the point to each of them that I understand it’s just that. A tech failure. They aren’t failures. They are artists and leaders. But our expectations for excellence and tech processes are there for a reason. To try and avoid what we’ve run into today.

Take it on the chin.

While we know it’s a hardware issue, we take responsibility for it. It’d be easy to tell everyone, “The computers suck. So it failed.” Instead, we took a punch, got rocked, and owned up to it. “Our creativity outgrew our technology. We pushed it too far, but we’ll figure it out. Sorry ‘bout that.” We did that. It was on us. We’ll fix it.

Do the tough stuff.

The initial question after we dropped the ball first service was “Are we gonna cancel it for the rest of the services?” It would’ve been easier to. Nobody would’ve missed it. Instead, we tested it again, the guys and gals in the back tweaked one of these and re-allocated one of those and went through our processes and (I’m writing this during second service now) it worked amazingly.

Don’t be afraid of failure, but fear that part of you that would rather not fail. It’ll make your life a miserable, boring mess of compromise and retreat. You can do it, but sometimes you have to fail first.

Thanks to all the great people who made it happen this morning. I love failing and succeeding with each of you!!!

On dudes…

I’ve had the opportunity to be in contact with some amazing men over the course of my life.

My dad is a pastoral workhorse. Having spent over 35 years as a pastor of an inner-city church, we showed me why hard work is often the reward for hard work. While others have counted their successes in ministry by numerical growth, conferences headlined and books authored, I’ve always counted his success in the years he’s ministered to those who have somehow remain parched in our society’s trickle down dealing with the less fortunate.

I’ve had friends like Joel Berry, Ben Rayls, Andrew Shirley, Charles Rumahlewang and Randy Torrejon who still call me friend though I haven’t been easy to adopt. They’ve watched me grow and retreat. They’ve boosted my character thru their own and made me appear much more talented than I really am.

I’ve had a great friend named Ron Guiliams who is God’s angel of wisdom. He came into my life at my most vulnerable and formative time and helped steer me through the chaos of small time celebrity. He held my hand when I failed and lifted me up when I was deflated. He’s believed in me when no one else has and that’s made quite a difference.

Today, I’ve been celebrating with some more friends - some old and some fairly new.

Derek Imai, one of the brightest people I know, is daring without the arrogance that comes along with it. He makes sense out of complicated things in a way that I envy.

Andrew Boganwright is a beast. He shoulders responsibility with confidence that comes from God and wraps himself around challenges willing them into successes.

Dan Crowley is a man’s man. He’s not stronger, faster or gnarlier than most, but his masculinity is closer to how I think Jesus’ was than anyone else I know. He cares for others without being weird and when he talks I feel like my soul is getting a hug.

Dan Zimbardi is influence through character. I often feel the truest part of himself leaning on me to be a better leader and a better man. He’s soft spoken, but I never miss a word. When he speaks, I listen.

And my pastor, Matt Brown, is what we all hope to grow up to become. Authentic, transparent, thoughtful - as a leader, he sets quite a pace. I get to see the framework of his thinking week after week and often wonder what will come from the message notes I’m privy to. Then I get to see him daily live out the truth he’s continually discovering and as a husband, father and man I’m glad to be able to get the sneak peek before everyone else gets the grand display. 

I’m grateful to these men and so many others who have moved me from here to there. Thanks to all these men, my kids might be able to toss me into a list like this someday. 

Do yourselves a favor and acknowledge the men in your life who have meant something. They - and you - will be better for it.

Hey Morgan Freeman… Am I African American?

Well, I’m back! I had to put pen to paper on this one. (Well I had to put fingers to letters to screen to hard drive to internet, but you know what I’m sayin’). 

Anyways, Morgan Freeman stepped in it as he tried to support our President. Here’s the quote from msnbc.com:

“First thing that always pops into my head regarding our president,” he said “is that all of the people who are setting up this [racial] barrier for him … they just conveniently forget that Barack had a mama, and she was white — very white American, Kansas, middle of America. There was no argument about who he is or what he is. America’s first black president hasn’t arisen yet. He’s not America’s first black president, he’s America’s first mixed-race president.”

As much as I respect Mr. Freeman, he’s way off base here. I understand that he is an adamant supporter of Obama and I can respect that.

I even understand that his statement was intended to show that people are confused as it relates to Mr. Obama’s heritage.

But to say that ‘he’s not  America’s first black president’ is just plain wrong. 

And arrogant. 

And assumptive.

And ignorant.

And oblivious.

And incognizant.


Now, I’m not in the habit of checking people who are older and wiser than me, but there are many ways to critique his statement. 

The easiest way is to say that Barak Obama is exactly African-American. 

His dad is African. 

From Kenya, not Compton. 

Real deal African.

His mom is American.

From Kansas, not Costa Mesa.

Real deal mid-west American.

You’ve got to crawl through all kindsa’ America before you get there.

But I digress.

The ‘One-Drop Rule’ has crudely popularized western culture’s fascination with racial classification. Consequently, people like Mr. Obama, my sister and I have had to check the ‘Black’ box on numerous government documents. Although times have changed and boxes have been added to accommodate the greying of America, the broader general reaction towards mulattos, mixed breeds and zebras have remained the same. If you’re mixed, you’re black. 

For all of you ready to respond with, “I don’t see race. I just think we’re all…” blah blah blah. It’s cute, but untrue and somewhat condescending.

I’ve been many people’s token ‘black friend’ to boost their stats at parties. 

I’ve been the ‘diversity’ that many organizations clamor for.

I’ve been the ‘black lead singer’ that made my former band more eclectic, and in turn, more marketable to a broader audience. 

And you know what?

I embrace that.

I’m the best of what Afro’s and Anglos have to offer.

I can get a fade or grow a mullet.

I get red in the sun, but it still makes me darker.

I have in my heritage slaves and slave owners.

I’m the product of two people who saw an exact opposite and thought… I want some of that action!

While this list intentionally makes light, I also share the dream of many mixed race African-Americans that America is better, not in spite of race, but because of the diversity that race brings.

Every day, decision by decision and association by association I’m not afraid to back away from that classification. 

I’m African-American.

I get to choose that, not Morgan Freeman.

If Barak Obama was breaking tackles for touchdowns or winning a slam dunk contest, there’d be no question about his blackness. But instead, he chose a different path birthed from the same drive and desire to break records of a different type.

Speaking of choice, get this quote from msnbc.com

He may be the world’s foremost mixed-race leader, but when it came to the official government head count, President Barack Obama gave only one answer to the question about his ethnic background: African-American.

So I guess he is America’s first African-American president after all.


“Some people write ‘bout it,
other people are out doin’ it.”

Dex Alexander

I’ve been cray busy. I’ll tell you all about it… tomorrow.

“Creativity is a Verb” »

cameronmoll:

Milton Glaser, as quoted in Jonah Lehrer’s Imagine:

There’s no such thing as a creative type. As if creative people can just show up and make stuff up. As if it were that easy.

I think people need to be reminded that creativity is a verb, and very time-consuming verb. It’s about taking an idea in your head, and transforming that idea into something real. And that’s always going to be a long and difficult process. If you’re doing it right, it’s going to feel like work.”

Who Are You?

You are not your mistake.

You are not your poor decision.

You are not your dress size.

You are not your failure.

You are not your hidden sin.

You are not your addiction.

You are not your lust.

You are not your anger.

You are not your layoff notice.

You are not your #klout score.

You are a miracle waiting to happen.

You are a story of grace poured out.

You are a magnet for blessings.

You are a daughter of the king.

You are success in hibernation.

You are a step towards greatness.

You are a decision away from freedom.

You are a commitment away from liberty.

The only thing separating

what you aren’t

from

what you are

is

opportunity

and

repentance. 

copy and paste or reply to spread the word of who you are.

Help Me Help You…

I have the dream job.

I lead the most creative group of people I’ve ever met. Each one of them is unique and endowed by their creator with a perspective on the world that helps to filter truth to the world. When I get into the office each day, I feel the weight of loosening their hindrances and the responsibility to champion their dreams. I’m not perfect at it, but I feel like the role of creative director was made just for me.

With that in mind, I felt the need to pass along a few things I’ve learned while working for and with these people…

Listen, Then Act

I have a tendency to try and bottom-line a conversation while it’s still going on. I think we all do. I think our brains are wired to try and predict every possible outcome before they happen as a defense mechanism. Every now and then we get it right (which explains de ja vu). But in most cases, we miss the point that someone else is trying to make because we’ve jumped to the conclusion while the thought is still in it’s infancy.

I tell myself all the time to let the people I work with get their entire idea out before I get jiggy with the Ginsu. When I allow that to happen, I at least have the backstory as to why this thing is purple or why we have to buy 13 monkeys to help Pastor Matt’s point.

Find their Happy Place

Each person has their place where they are most creative. It’s my duty as director to manage and protect that space. One of my major projects right now is work space re-districting and scheduling. I’m working as hard at this as if I was writing a song or prepping a talk because I know the importance of this to my team. If I get this right, untold numbers of people will be impacted by the creative output of this team. If I get this wrong, untold numbers of people will get good work, but not the best, from my team.

Critique While Not Being Critical

So, I’ve worked for a number of directors, managers, pastors etc. One of the challenges I’ve faced is putting out good work with limited information only to be critiqued with an even more limited set of variables. Statements like:

This doesn’t look good.

That didn’t sound good this week.

It needs more energy.

I didn’t feel like it connected.

It needs to be bigger.

Those don’t help. At the very least, I’d suggest starting off any critique by stating how the event, object or creation made you feel. Every creative professional I know is looking to illicit a response. I love that one of our critiques from our pastor was this:

It felt creepy.

Agree or not, I get what he meant by that. I know where to begin with that. I know that that critique is the start of a conversation that will lead me towards a closer understanding of his vision for the project.

Had the critique only been “I didn’t like it.” - WHAT DO I DO WITH THAT?

You don’t need to be very creative yourself to lead very creative people. Listen to us, make space for us and help us understand your take and we’ll make the world prettier, louder and more exciting than you can ever imagine.

What says you? Leave a comment below…

“Don’t miss the present while looking to the future…”

 I was already thinking of all the things I was going to do as soon as I got home when I remembered a few things:

- I didn’t see my kids awake AT ALL yesterday.

- I plopped down on the couch and had a conversation with my smoking’ hot wife yesterday that could’ve been labeled minimalist.


I have a lot of plans running through my head right now… How do I move sandals church into a deeper understanding of being real? When am I going to write more music? When can I get away to write? When can I get out to speak at the places that have contacted me to do so? How can I really resource other creative people?

 But my 4 year old has her own plans that include punching and tickling.

 My 1 year old has plans that include hiding in places that I can’t easily find him and pulling things on his head so that he can scream loudly.

 My wife has plans… I’ll keep that between us. (Wishful thinking?)

The future will be there. I’m going home. And I’ll be there.


Why you’re not the coolest guy in the room…

       

At 12:01 I saw the Avengers movie.

GREAT MOVIE. Lots of fun and action and humor and craziness.

 I went with an awesome cast of friends who are more knowledgable about the Marvel universe than I’ll ever hope to be. Most of them have lunch on Wednesdays after going to the comic book store and on that day, they are rock stars.

 When they walk into the store, the place comes alive. They guy behind the counter has their favorite comics waiting for them and they start talking a language that is comprised of English words but has nothing to do with this world. It’s amazing. There are these secret verbal hand-shakes that let some in, and keep some from, a place reserved for heroes and demigods, spies and the supernatural.

 When I walked into the same comic book store alone, I made a cardinal mistake by revealing the reason behind me coming there alone: I was buying comics to tear up and use as an art project. It was like I was gonna tear up the Constitution or something. They were still very cordial, but also very clear; not cool, dude. Not. Cool.

 Cool is all about context. In some circles, your most bizarre attributes are the pinnacle of cool. 

  • Your love of Cheetos puts you at the top of the hill on your Cheetos discussion boards
  • Your knowledge of iguana mating habits makes you the teacher’s pet in your iguana society meetings
  • your extensive collection of zip lock baggies filled with the Bieb’s hair clippings makes you… well, that makes you weird. But it’s cool somewhere, I’m sure.

It was an honor to hear the whispers from onlookers and give them the all-knowing look that says, “I’m with Tony Stark. Yes his chest lights up. Rad, right?” And its amazing when J-Rocka shouted “AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!” and from the rafters came a pretty ghetto Hulk, a Captain Asian America, an Iron Mexican and a Black Thor. There on the floor, they received a standing ovation that was the collective energy of all of us who didn’t have the guts to be the coolest people in the room.

Then the Hulk went back to his seat and pounded a tub of popcorn.

He put that corn away in a troubling frenzy as if those kernels were trying to run away from the unbridled rage of a gamma ray-ed chaos machine.

Not cool, dude. Not. Cool.

Why My Wife Is Always Right…

When I laid eyes on my wife, I wasn’t sure of many things about her.

I didn’t know her name.

I didn’t know her age. 

I didn’t know if she had a job or not.

I didn’t even know if she was single.

But I did know that I wanted to marry her right there on the spot.

She needed to pray and think about it. And she wanted to hear from God if I was a mass murderer or if I was going to sneak in and wear her bathrobe or something.

I’ve always acknowledged her dependance on God, but I haven’t always admired it. My independence has always been a badge of honor and I’ve done everything I can to do for myself and make it on my own.

This is a major part of my relationship with God, too. I’m not suggesting this is the way our relationship with God should be, I’m just being real. I usually exhaust myself and every available resource before I finally and desperately call out to God for help.

Not my wife.

He’s the first one she consults and, many times, His is the only voice she’ll listen to.

I recently told her that she should move on from Cal Baptist University where she’d been an adjunct professor of Political Science. I had stats and charts about how colleges are surviving on the backs of poor overworked and underpaid adjuncts and blah blah blah.

She looked me in the face and said, “God told me that he would provide for me. I’m staying.”

Whatevs. Knock yourself out.

Well, today I’m married to the newest full time lecturer for Cal Baptist University. She stuck to her guns and God provided for her just as she, and He, said He would. 

That dependance on God - I do admire that now. I am proud of her and her accomplishments and the fact that she’s a freakin’ genius who totally married down. But I’d like to think that she heard from God about me too. 

Thanks God for providing for us. Thanks for keeping your promise to my wife and thanks for answering our prayers. 

P.S. - And thanks for telling her that I’m not a mass murderer. 

P.S. again… And thanks for not ruining the surprise about me wearing her bathrobe…

Putting myself out there…

So, I’ve done something today that I’ve never done before… I’ve asked the staff of our creative department to evaluate me. As creative director, I’ve had the opportunity to pass along suggestions to all of the amazing creators here at Sandals Church, but this my first evaluation from them.

 It goes back to something I decided when I took the position:

I want to lead from within, not from above.

 This doesn’t mean I’ll be everybody’s bestie. It doesn’t mean that I’ll make every group lunch or that I’ll even understand the inside jokes. But it does mean that I’m committed to seeing our process from their eyes. I’m committed to understanding their perspective before I undo their work. I’m committed to never suggesting - under any circumstances - that “make it bigger” is enough of a critique. I hate that.

 So I put it out there. Here’s their evaluation criteria:

- Have I helped to clarify the vision of SANDALS as it relates to your    position and creativity?
- Do I value your input?
- Have I clearly stated what success looks like for you in your position?
- Do I create roadblocks or clear roadblocks to help your creatively?
- How can I be most useful to you?

My initial questions were worded differently. They were more like, “Do you feel like I value your input?” But after thinking through the responses, answering that question doesn’t really get to the heart of the matter, which is: How am I doing?

 Managers, directors and bosses - don’t fear criticism. Embrace it. It’ll help you see where you’re winning and losing.

I’ll let you know how it goes…

If you’ve done something similar to this, let me know your process.

If you wish your boss would do this, let me know what you wish they’d ask you…

On honor…

                                              

 So it’s kinda been a love-fest around my church/job/community this week. I’ve had the opportunity to honor a long time friend who is, more recently, both my Pastor and my boss.

 When I first met Matt Brown he was student body president at Cal Baptist. He was the sun drenched campus icon that was prepping himself for the greatness that every institution of higher learning promises every single undergrad. Except you could see that he was actually going to do it. He was confident beyond his years and he was a natural leader.

 We passed each other in the halls, but our paths really crossed a few years later. I had some sin in my life and he called me out on it. I was surprised and embarrassed and hadn’t matured to the point of understanding the process of iron sharpening iron. 

 I walked away from that meeting thinking I’d never see him again. Actually I hoped I’d never see him again. But after 12 years or more, our paths did cross again. And in his eyes I saw a guy who had grace and wisdom that only comes through one facing their own demons and living to tell about it. I saw a guy who had stumbled through some stuff to become the example of authenticity that he so desperately desires others to become.

 I’ve had the pleasure of working for him for a few months now and I’m grateful that God knows better than I do. He knows how to guide lives and reconnect people for a second chance at grace. He knows how to answer my prayers even when they go something like this:

God, I don’t ever want to work for a church again. I love you, but I hate church.

 Thanks, Matt. You and Tammy have given me a renewed focus in my calling and vocation. And more than that, you’ve come alongside me as I try to be real with myself, God and others.

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